Hello!

Well, this is my 1st post in my weight loss blog. I'm a runner, hence the title...however, I feel it would have been more appropriate to title this blog "Getting my Ass in Gear" since that's what I seem to be unable to do.

I began this blog mostly out of disgust. I am by no means obese. In fact, I am not fat either. However, I have a problem with food and I desperately want to lose those annoying final 10 pounds.

You see, after getting married in 1997, I gained about 20 lbs. I was already heavier than I needed to be, so those additional pound made me fat. After trying everything from Dexatrim to the Cabbage Soup Diet to Metabolife to Atkins, I had made very little progress and was frustrated. In 1999, I finally decided to join my WW group at work. Something clicked, because I followed the program carefully, I started working out again and I lost the weight! 32 pounds in all. I weighed 130 and I felt awesome! It was my life's greatest accomplishment at that time and I felt like I could take on the world.

In 2001, at age 29, I began running. I was approaching my 30th birthday and decided that I was going to run the Houston 1/2 Marathon! At that time, I weighed about 132 which was perfect since my WW goal weight was actually 135. I ran the 1/2 and continued to run. I managed to keep off the weight until 2003. I ran the NYC Marathon that year and let my weight creep up a bit. Nothing terrible, I was probably around 139. After running the Houston Marathon in 2004, my weight creeped up to 145. I decided to rejoin WW and I managed to get back on track. Two months later, I found out I was pregnant with my 1st child. While my eating did not get out of control during my pregnancy, I did "splurge" toward the end. In total, I gained 30 lbs.

After having my daughter, I found that I lost 20 of those 30 pounds really quickly. The next 12 wasn't so hard to loose either. Now I was back to 145...my pre-pregnancy weight and only 10 more pounds to goal! So yes, since January of 2005, I have fluctuated between 142 and 150. I have been paying for Weight Watchers off and on during that time. I've been playing the "yes, I'm on WW game" for those 2 years...telling myself to get on program, but really cheating and eating a cookie here or having a Starbucks there.

So dear readers, it is time to re-focus.

Most people say, "OMG, all that running you do! You should be able to eat what you want!" Yeah, you'd think so. But, I seem to remember a little something from Economics 101 called the "Law of Diminishing Returns". Funny how you do end up using this stuff in real life after all, isn't it? I am truly scared to see how much weight I would gain if I didn't run and workout!

It's time for me to make a decision.

Either get back to eating right -or- just saying "screw it" and eat whatever the hell I want. Seriously. No grey area. No in-between. One or the other, because I am tired of this cycle of "Woohoo, I lost 3 lbs", followed by the horrible guilt of eating things I know will sabotage my diet. I seem to constantly go back and forth between the two. It's not that I can't eat the bad foods at all. I can. I just have to get back to eating them in moderation and balancing them with the healthy stuff in between.

I guess it just bugs me, because when I was on WW before, it seemed so easy. I ate what I was supposed to and the weight came off. Sure I had a chocolate bar or a Coke mixed in there every so often, but I wouldn't go too crazy with it. I would balance it out with more veggies at dinner or earn more activity points. So why does this seem so hard now? I know how I feel when I gain weight and I know how unhappy I am when I move up a size....so, I know what decision I need to make. EAT RIGHT. I just need someone to tell that to the part of the brain that allows me to reason with myself. The part that says "It's okay, a couple of chocolate chip cookies won't hurt" followed by, "While you're at it, wash it down with a REAL Coke".

I am hoping by using this blog to track my food and WW points and occasionally get out my frustrations, I can do it. For real this time.

Oh and next time, my post won't be this freaking long! :-)